Dear Matt Damon:

You don’t know me, and I’m hoping you can help me with a tiny situation. My name is Karen & I own a bakery. At any given moment, I am a pastry chef, cheerleader, dish washer or maintenance person. There is a lot of machinery and equipment at my bakery which, more often than not, needs special attention. This is one of the reasons why we’re really nice to our neighbors with tools, and why we have duct tape. (not really…I bought duct tape for The B Team so everyone could decorate their lockers. Minor detail no one really needs to know about. Shhh)

Yesterday, I emerged from my office to find one of my co-workers on a step stool, methodically winding pink duct tape decorated with cupcakes around an air hose. It’s not really a sight any business owner wants to see. I walked over to investigate.

Me: What’s wrong?

Baker: Well, the air hose is hissing and has a tiny leak.

Me: Huh. Good thinking with the duct tape – does it work?

Baker: I don’t know.

She reached up and turned on the air. There was no mistaking the noise of escaping air.

Me: Well, it worked for Matt Damon on Mars when his helmet cracked, so technically, it should work for us.

Baker: Maybe I just need more.

Me: Yeah, maybe. Maybe his duct tape was better than ours. His didn’t have cupcakes.

Should we have used a different pattern?

Many thanks in advance for your help.