May I please speak to the business owner?

Apparently, ’tis the season for phone solicitation. All day long, the phone at work rings with grand offers of ‘free money’ & interest-free loans. For the most part, I patiently let the other person talk and then ask to be removed from their call list. It’s tedious, time-consuming and relentless.

Last week, the calls started earlier than usual. 8:05 am to be exact.

Telemarketer: “May I pleeeeeeeze speak to the owner?”
Me: (rushing to get orders out the door): “Can you please take us off your call list?”
Telemarketer: “May I phu-LEEEEEEZE speak to the BUSINESS OWNER!!!”
Me: (resigned, feeling badly for being rude) I am the business owner. How can I help you?
Telemarketer: “You’re a liar.”
Me: Excuse me? I’m a liar? My name is Karen, and I own the business.
Telemarketer: “You’re a liar and you need to go to CHURCH.”
Me: Actually, I’m not a liar. I own the business. And, I won’t be going to church because I am Jewish.”
Telemarketer: “You are a liar and are going to hell.”
Click.

The interaction momentarily paralyzed me. I stood in the middle of the kitchen, holding the phone, stunned. Within seconds, I was ready to pounce. I hit caller id & tried to contact the company. I’m not even sure why…so I could ‘report my experience?’ What would that do? Nothing at all, but it might make me feel a little better. Predictably, my call did not go through and the number was not reachable. I had no option except to share the call with my co-workers, laugh at the ridiculousness of the conversation, and let it go.

I actually feel for people who work at call centers. Their job cannot be easy, and I understand and appreciate that they are contacting me because that is what they’re getting paid to do, not because they are intentionally trying to waste my time or annoy me. If I could figure out a way to get my phone numbers off these call lists, I would do it in a heartbeat. Sadly, I’m a tech-loser & haven’t managed to take care of that yet. Until I do, I will continue to answer the phone & will do my best to be respectful and kind.

Just do me a favor: save the insults for after you hang up the phone on me & I’ll do the same.

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Owner, Baker,
& Storyteller

You know that friend who has it all together? Yeah. That’s not me. What I can offer you instead are my experiences, insights, and passions. Pithy observations about making cookies. Wry commentary on running a business. Loving (if slightly sarcastic) parenting advice. And if that doesn’t interest you, I have dogs. Cute ones.

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