Yep…it’s been one of those weeks.  Long.  Busy.  Stressful…and nothing says ‘WEEKEND’ quite like revving up the ol’ blow torch. It’s been such a week here at babycakes and confections that today, I actually got on the phone and called my old boss at a local fly fishing shop and begged him to re-hire me.  There is something utterly appealing to me right now about going somewhere else to work, where someone else makes the decisions, someone else answers the phone, opens the bills, and at the end of the week, I just ‘go home’.  No worrying about things on the weekend, no stress.  “Hi there, my name is Karen and I would like to apply for that job in perfect-jobland.  Yes, that one right there.  That job looks just perfect!  Fun, rewarding, easy challenging, 9-5 Monday through Friday.”   While I may sound like I’m complaining, I’m really just dreaming a little dream.  Reality: That dream got crushed when my old boss told me ‘thanks, but no thanks lady’.  I was trying to get the band back together, but it looks like I’m stuck being a one-man band, solo in the garage.  Time to opt for plan b.

Here’s plan b:  Stick it out at the bakery & try to get organized.  Keep a running to-do list on my new to-do-list-system (clipboard with paper), revise the to-do list every day, and set a goal of getting at least ten things crossed off the list by the end of every day.  When in doubt, there’s nothing quite like a really pretty pen color on white paper.  There’s four actual pages filled with square boxes waiting to be crossed off, one of which was to write on my blog, so the good news is that by writing this post, I am actually no longer procrastinating…I am working.

plan b…smart.

So, we know that I’ve been busy.  We know that the ol’ job satisfaction is running a bit slim right now.  We know I like paper and at the ripe age of 42, I still cannot figure out how to keep my life in order beyond putting all of my trust in paper and colored sharpies.  We know I tried to grovel my way back into the heart of my old boss and face-planted.  Is that it?

No, it’s not.

Before I list my words detailing my need for fire this week, I need to make a confession.  I did something horrible, and I cannot hold it in any longer: I bought m&m cookies at Roche Bros last night for my son Sam to bring into school for an event which apparently required the kids to bring food to school.  I found out about this event not from my child, but from another parent at 3ish yesterday.  I texted Sam to find out if, in fact, he really did need to bring in food, and he confirmed this and then ordered a couple of bags of cookies.  In theory, a good mother who is also a pastry chef would most likely scurry to work to bake cookies for her son.  That good mother in me considered baking at home, except for the sad reality that there is not one piece of baking equipment at our house, excluding a lone whisk, a set of measuring cups, some metal bowls and a half dozen sheetpans.  Torn, I cursed myself for not having a kitchen aid at home, and pondered buying a mixer and ingredients so that Sam could bring fresh cookies to school.  In the end, however, I did not buy a mixer or ingredients; no…I bought m&m cookies “made” by a supermarket.  While it feels somewhat good to share this with you, I have to admit – I feel like I really could end up going to pastry chef hell for this action.

Now that I have atoned for this latest pastry sin, here is my week in words:

• chaotically busy (work)
• frustrating/discouraging (work)
• challenging (hmmmmm….yup…work once again)
• delicious (home smoked bbq nachos at work, home made mac & cheese at home, yummy lemon chickpea soup, unbelievable melon from Idylwilde)
• thoughtful (Yom Kippur – a day of atonement and asking for forgiveness)
• joyful (sam with lacrosse, emmy & her music videos, getting to watch Jacob play football)
• exciting (meeting a Leland Creative plus a field trip to Salem – whooohooo!)
• interesting (back to school night for Sam)
• wince-worthy (the cookie thing).

I wish everyone a relaxing and fun weekend filled with lots of homemade cookies.  And if my kids are reading this post – please know this post does not give you permission to start playing with fire.