Life is a funny thing these days. The line of what is personal, what is professional and what is public feels more and more blurred because of social media. It’s an interesting line to walk, to say the least.
As a human who owns a business, I have consciously made the decision to discuss personal stuff on my ‘business’ blog. It was never something I intended to do when I started writing, just like I never planned for my custom cake business to develop into the company it is today. Sharing personal experiences has felt scary, terrifying really, yet oddly relieving. What I know is that I opened the door, and there’s no closing it now.
When I write, the moment before I hit ‘publish’ feels like standing on the edge of the ocean waves debating whether to enter, the icy water barely stretching toward my toes, the sand damp and cold. I can stand on the edge of the ocean for hours, wondering whether I’m going to go for it and dive in. The decision for me to enter the water is never easy, no matter what the temperature. As strongly as I’m drawn to water, I inherently resist the fear of being cold. Writing and publishing posts used to feel the same way – I resisted the urge to dive in. Over time, it’s gotten easier and my brain has become accustomed to that plunge into the unknown.
Because I’ve gotten used to writing and to sharing personal things, I am fascinated when I have something that I feel compelled to share, yet I cannot make the words unfold. Instead of being able to sit and write, I find myself quickly retreating. If writing for the most part has become easy, what’s going on when suddenly it’s difficult? Am I ashamed of something I want to share? Am I scared? Am I worried that I’ll be judged? Whatever the reason, all I know is that when this happens, I feel even more determined to force myself to face the ocean head-on.
This story below has been standing on the edge, waiting to get published for a while. Guess it’s in the ocean now.
I am 47 years old. I am drawn to endurance athletic endeavors even though I never fully commit the time or energy it takes to tackle some of the things I want to do. Running a marathon has always been on my bucket list. The funny thing is that I actually hate running.
It’s true. I really don’t like to run.
I have always had ‘those friends’ who craved running, their day incomplete until they tied their laces and hit the road. That was never ever me. I would choose a million other activities, including emptying the dishwasher, mowing our lawn or counting inventory twice before I ever decided to go out for a run. While I have done some running and have even run in a handful of races, running was never an activity that I could get to stick.
And still, running a marathon remains on my list of things to do.
It makes no sense, and I’ve come to accept this quirk about myself. I also know myself well enough to understand that I will never have the decency to let myself off the hook and simply say ‘you’re funny’ and be done with it. It’s there, and I can’t ignore it for much longer.
Someone was watching over me when I joined Deb LaFlamme’s private business group and one of the members of the group just happened to be a running coach. Without thinking twice, I sent this woman a message and shared my goal. The simple act of writing the words made me blush with embarrassment.
I want to run the Boston Marathon, 2018. I’m going to need some help getting there.
Awesome! I love it! What’s your current running plan?
Plan? What do you mean? I don’t have one. I don’t run.
Ok then…well, how many miles do you average per week?
I don’t average any miles. I really don’t run.
We’ve got this.
Yes, we do.
I am officially putting it out there that I am training to run a marathon. I have hired a coach, Liz McHutcheon, founder of Running on Venti. She is mapping out my training schedule, managing my cycling and my brain angst, and will be standing by my side for as far as I can get toward reaching this goal. The details are unknown at this point. I have no clue if I’ll be able to run in Boston 2018, if my body will handle the miles, or if I will scream ‘EFF THIS’ at some point along the way and burn my sneakers in the fire pit behind our house.
I have been training for three weeks so far with the immediate goal of running a half marathon in the fall and the long distance goal of running a marathon in 2018. Three weeks. Eight runs. We’re starting slow.
It’s remarkable what thoughts are generated while running. I will be writing about my experiences with the hopes of sharing what it takes to get a non-runner to a marathon. I have decided to call this series Lace Lessons, because the learning starts way before you map out your run and hit the road. The learning starts even before you slip your feet into your sneakers and knot the laces. Not surprisingly, the lessons continue long after you pull off your sneakers and put them away until your next run.
If anyone is interested in training along with me, please leave a comment below. I would love to hear more about what’s driving you and how you plan on getting there. Safety in numbers, right?
With gratitude for my coach, Liz McHutcheon, for being my fearless leader on this quest.