The Craigslist ad that will never be

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We’re in the process of trying to expand The B Team by adding a second shift. I put an ad on Craigslist last month during the holiday frenzy, and ended up having to put everything on hold because I didn’t have enough time to focus on interviewing, scheduling trial bakes, etc. The kitchen crew and I were at the bakery on Saturday, and we started discussing the need to get back to creating this second shift.

I’m realizing it’s really tricky to hire and train a second shift. There are many things on the ‘ideal candidate checklist’ that make finding the right people a bit difficult. I need to find people who are able to work from 3pm – 8/9pm. They need to be strong and able to repeatedly lift heavy things weighing up to 55 pounds. Ideally, they have a background in culinary arts and are familiar with things ranging from large equipment to knowing what a properly baked cookie looks like. They need to have flexibility with their schedule. Because this is a brand new shift, I have no idea how much work can be accomplished with an additional two or three people. The shift might be three days a week, or it might be five. I simply don’t know. As our discussion progressed about the ‘ideal’ candidate, I started to think about the Craigslist ad that will never be.

Come join The B Team! Bisousweet is a growing wholesale bakery located in Shirley, MA. We are currently looking to hire 2-3 bakers to work from 3pm-8 or 9pm, three to five days a week. We’ll let you know when we figure it out. Ideal candidate will be strong and able to repeatedly lift heavy things weighing up to 55 pounds. Must have large hands and no arm or knuckle hair. Must have small hands that fit into small bags. We prefer people who smell good. Obsessive compulsive cleanliness is a bonus. Bald people are preferable. If you’re tall, even better, because a lot of us can’t reach stuff on the top shelves. Must be able to follow directions, listen to relentless amounts of country music, maintain a friendly demeanor while working at a fast pace, talk without needing to use your hands to drive your point home, and walk quickly. Vast knowledge of mechanical engineering and chemistry and your own set of tools would be great. If you like good smelling soap in the bathroom and care about what flavor dish washing soap we use, you’ll fit right in. Must have an affinity for excessive laundry accessories such as fabric softener, potent dryer sheets and Downy Unstoppables. It goes without saying that you must be an avid Patriot’s fan. How do you feel about cheese? Finally, you must like to talk about food. A  lot.

Yep. Not gonna happen.

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Owner, Baker,
& Storyteller

You know that friend who has it all together? Yeah. That’s not me. What I can offer you instead are my experiences, insights, and passions. Pithy observations about making cookies. Wry commentary on running a business. Loving (if slightly sarcastic) parenting advice. And if that doesn’t interest you, I have dogs. Cute ones.

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